The Big Bedroom Pause

Gen Z might have been raised by the internet, but its conservative traits come from a deeper place. A report on the (mostly) intentional sex slowdown in the age of dating apps and progressive upbringing.

- Ananya Rai

Every two years or so, a study crawls out of the woodwork declaring that young people aren't having sex-cue the thinkpieces, Substacks, and alarmist opeds, until someone writes a book about it. The one currently dominating the discourse is "The State of Dating Report,' a 2024 study by Feeld (dating app for people who are into ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and casual sex) and Dr Justin Lehmiller of the Kinsey Institute (USA). It primarily talks about Gen Z's attitude towards love, sex, and kink, and also goes on to confirm that the generation isn't really having much sex. The research, conducted in 71 countries (with a dominant percentage in the US), found that the median number of times millennials and Gen X (who preceded the former) reported having sex a month was five, while for both Gen Z and boomers (who came before Gen X), the median was merely three times a month.

American writer and editor, Jia Tolentino, observes how the young are "presented with a Vegas buffet of carnality, but are losing their appetite," in her The New Yorker piece. Meanwhile, American journalist Carter Sherman's book The Second Coming: Sex and the Next Generation's Fight Over Its Future (2025) argues that miseducation, porn, digital disconnection, and political pressure together have shaped how they navigate sex and intimacy.

Ergo, we decided to f*ck around (pun not intended) and find out if the purported theory holds true for young people in India. We spoke to 15 individuals with diverse sexualities between the ages of 20 and 28, from Delhi, Bengaluru, Mumbai, Hyderabad, Dimapur, Ranchi, Ganapavaram, Panipat, and Ludhiana. While four are in a relationship, others are single (this includes all kinds of-ships too). None are married.