Don't try this at home

Nothing ventured, nothing gained... Aieeee!

- Sam Llewellyn 

Just after lunch, in one of those Mediterranean ports where the sun bounces off the concrete and the prudent option is to sit in the shade and watch the world go by, it happened. The world, in this case, being the small-boat fish landing division of a gigantic marina. Across the water came the clank of a diesel engine, burning, by the smell of it, olive oil and donkey manure. The engine belonged to a fishing boat, and it was evident that a feat of seamanship was about to be performed.

There was one man on the boat. He approached the quay at right angles and slammed the bow into the concrete. He then shoved the wheel hard-a-starboard, left the phone-box wheelhouse, strolled forward, engine still running half ahead, and looped his bow line over a bollard.