PARADISE CALLED, IT WANTS ITS TRACK-DAY BACK

IT IS 38° CELSIUS AND I AM STRAPPED INTO A carbon-fibre oven that is hurtling along at 290 km/h, my double-layer black Nomex overalls soaking up the sweat and sun in equal measure.

- James Dennison

I am rattling through a tirade of single-syllable expletives but my cries are a mere whimper next to the howling metallic tornado inches from my head. Blink and I shall be blind for 30 metres. Sneeze and all bets are off.

To some, it sounds like a window into Hell. For others, it is a bullet train to Heaven and a damn good reason to part with eye-watering sums of money in pursuit of the ultimate track-day experience.

The heat, noise, and mild terror are all part of the fun in the Pagani Huayra R Evo Roadster. It is a track-only variant of the Huayra and an even more extreme version of the also track-only Huayra R. Its lap-times are on a par with an LMP2 car. Sound-wise, it is Andrea Bocelli through a straight pipe. Think 1990s V12 F1 car with a dollop of rarefied nostalgia on top, and you are just about there.

Sign me up, I hear you say. And, yes, for almost £4 million (Rs 47.76 crore) it is yours. But here is the issue: even if you wanted to risk getting T-boned by an errant Mki MX-5 on an MSV track evening, the unmodified Huayra R Evo Roadster is simply too loud. You would be ejected faster than Jos Verstappen at Christian Horner's leaving do.

Thankfully, Pagani has you covered. When you splash out on a Huayra Evo R Roadster, you are automatically enrolled into its Arte in Pista programme and given access to 10 track events across two years. Essentially translating as “art on the track”, this rarefied club allows owners to come together on some of the world’s greatest circuits and enjoy everything that Pagani has to offer. If Carlsberg did track-days...