BMW M5 TOURING

HERE'S AN INCOMPATIBLE PAIR: BMW M5 and Stelvio Pass. As long as a limo and heavy as a Defender, it should tackle the 48 hairpins that define this iconic Italian mountain pass like a bowling ball on a marble run: with severe clumsiness and a very real concern that the whole structure could collapse underneath it.

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What a structure, though. A vertical mile of drop over little more than 10 horizontal, narrow, bumpy and fantastically unforgiving terraces, it's hell for brakes, traction, gearing, torque and differentials. I dreaded what the Stelvio was going to do to the M5. And vice versa, actually.