Not Skin Deep

In the time of selfies, airbrushing, botox and Gigi Hadid, it’s increasingly becoming difficult for young kids to wrap their heads around what beauty really means. Here’s what you need to tell them.

- Prachi S. Vaish

It wasn’t long ago when a seven-year old daughter of family friend told me that she had to watch what she ate, else she wouldn’t have a figure like actor Kareena Kapoor’s. I also see a 10-year-old every day, sweating it out on a bicycle (at the cost of playing with other children) in 40 degrees heat because her mother believes she needs to shed her “chubbiness”. At the same time, the lady grumbles that all the cycling has tanned her daughter’s skin, while the little girl flushes with embarrassment since this is discussed in the company of eight guests.

What are we doing? Are we unconsciously sowing the seeds of irrelevant standards of beauty in our children because somewhere we’re embarrassed of our own unconscious shortcomings? Or are we pressured by technology and social media, which mandates a selfie for every occasion, and, as a famous fairness cream ad professes, “All day click karo, post karo”? Here’s something else to ponder over: Are we setting these standards just for our girls, thus deepening the gender chasm? I have an eight-year old son and I was stumped when he responded to a compliment by saying, “Don’t call me beautiful! I am not a girl!” If someone his age can pick up that beauty is a popular standard for girls, then we are seriously doing something wrong.

It would be unreasonable to wish that in this day and age, where our senses are constantly bombarded by beauty products and glamour, our children ignore looks completely. However, with the right and steady approach, they can learn that while it’s nice to look good, it’s with one’s personality that one can really shine. Here’s how you can start inculcating the idea of inner beauty, true beauty as well as complete beauty in your daughters and sons.  

1 INSTILLING EARLY SELF-CONCEPT.