If You Disagree, You Are Not Listening

DR. ICHAK ADIZES explores the art of diffusing a disagreement, especially when the other party claims that you have not understood them because you are not listening. He uses the technique of mirroring to ensure better understanding and communication.

- DR. ICHAK ADIZES

It frequently occurs in discussions, when someone does not agree with you, that he or she will say, “No, no, no, no, no. You don’t understand what I said. You’re not listening.”

They appear to be claiming that if you disagree with them, it is because you’re not listening well, or you don’t understand their argument. This is often not true. You are listening and you understand what they’re saying. You just don’t agree.