Trench Lessons

Former Burberry Ceo Angela Ahrendts Once Said, “there Should Be a Trench Coat for Everyone in the World.” and This Season, There Is

- Laura Craik

I can’t remember which show it was, but as I stood watching the guests streaming out of the exit, it felt like everyone had got the memo apart from me. So many men and women were wearing beige trench coats that it looked like a Pink Panther convention, only everyone had come dressed as Inspector Clouseau because their plush pink onesie was in the wash. I looked up at the sky. It gave no hint of rain. Did these people have superior weather apps? I looked down at my own black woollen coat, drably easing its way into a second winter. They certainly had superior style.

Past a certain age, a trench coat is just one of those things that you’re supposed to own, one of the signifiers of bona fide adulthood, like a proper handbag or a Le Creuset pan. Can I get through this piece without referring to them as a “wardrobe classic”? Probably not. Certainly not when Lisa Aiken, Net-A-Porter’s retail fashion director, so vehemently exalts them. “I don’t say this lightly – there aren’t many items that I’d call an investment purchase in fashion, but the trench coat truly is that,” she says. “It’s a rare gem: relaxed, but never scruffy, tailored, but never formal. Few items tick quite so many sartorial boxes. Also, women are looking more and more for longevity and trans-seasonal buys, and designers are increasingly blurring the lines between traditional seasons. So if you’re on the hunt for the ultimate ‘forever’ piece, this is it.”

But as with so many other wardrobe classics, the trench’s forever status makes it no less tricky to get right. For my money, trench coats are one of the most difficult items to buy and feel truly happy with. Too often, there’s a weird collar shape, one too many buttons or the wrong kind of beige. God, I hate the wrong kind of beige.