Social Stamina

How to optimize your networking needs, according to experts

- By Addison Aloian

With summer in full swing, your extroverted best friend is psyched to socialize the night away at your mutual friend's backyard barbecue. You, on the other hand, are staring at the clock. (And I don't blame you... your cozy bed is calling your name!) Meanwhile, your ambiverted go-with-the-flow partner, also in attendance, is happy to stay or to leave anytime.

If you've ever had similar struggles navigating social gatherings, you might've chalked it up to cut-and-dried personality types. But, contrary to popular belief, "extroversion is a dimension, so you can be higher or lower [on the scale]," says Michael Wilmot, PhD, an industrial-organizational psychologist and assistant professor of management in the Sam M. Walton College of Business at the University of Arkansas. You and your party-hopping pal aren't total opposites-you each just thrive on different sides of the same spectrum. This sliding scale allows for increased variability in personality type, but we still live in a society where extroversion dominates and, between persistent RSVPs and continual FOMO, we don't have adequate time to recharge, says psychologist Arnie Kozak, PhD, a clinical assistant professor at the University of Vermont College of Medicine and author of The Awakened Introvert. "The idea of happiness and sociability is on extrovert terms."

Perhaps it's no surprise then that, after being cooped up all winter, once Memorial Day rolls around, you're scorched by an overscheduled summer. Weeknights are spent at work happy hours and catch-up dinners with friends, while your weekends are booked up with weddings and family trips. And if you have kids? Factor in the requisite parental attendance at summer camp functions, playdates, and community pool meet-ups.