“ALL WE DESIRE IS THE SAME RIGHTS AS EVERYONE ELSE”

A real life account of a lesbian woman on the discrimination and casual bigotry people in same sex relationships have to face—the denial of rights to marriage, adoption, surrogacy and more.

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Are you related by blood? Are you sisters? We don’t understand...you’re friends investing in a property...together?!’ probed the seemingly flummoxed home loan rep. My girlfriend and I were seated in a plush lobby of a new construction site, with our respective parents in tow, collectively resisting apologetic smiles as the series of questions continued, often straying incredulously into the purview of personal space. I’ve been lucky to find an incredible partner in my girlfriend, and buying property together was a special part of the promise we hoped to make to each other. You could say we desired ‘normality’, and didn’t wish to be regarded as ‘alternative sexualities’. The sort of status quo akin to marriage that heterosexual people can take for granted but is still not an option for us.

The home loan was denied. Our individual bank balance, what’s considered ‘pink money’, our record of tax payments, all tossed aside; and our familial support, overlooked. There was another route. That of creating a pseudo company and re-approaching banks as business partners...but our everyday lives are already entwined in too many big little lies to indulge a new deception.

Legally, homosexuality in India is no longer a crime after the striking down of Section 377 in September 2018. But, as is well documented, fundamental human rights elude same-sex couples. There is the daily denial of dignity, and having to cope with discriminations in housing, workplaces, adoption, even benefits of tax and inheritance. The myopic Marital Status section on official forms—insurance, mortgage, passport, health, tax returns et al—lists options of single, married, divorced, widow/ widower, and separated. No prizes for guessing our eternal pick. Single.