Help Wanted

The search for a uniquely qualified personal assistant

- Mary Cella

I’M A VERY BUSY WOMAN looking for an assistant to help me with certain important responsibilities. This is not your average assistant job. What I’m looking for is someone to take care of some of my more personal business so I can focus on my true passion: grocery shopping.

Please apply if, and only if, you are willing and able to accomplish the following tasks:

WORK. I would love to have a nine-to-five job. However, I find sitting in a cubicle all day unbearable. An ideal assistant would secure a high-paying office job and excel in that setting, even going so far as to eagerly accept every invitation to after-work drinks.