THE SOFT BOΥ PARADOX

Why expecting Indian men to be K-drama heroes is unfair.

- By Deepshikha Pandey

In a college classroom in Mumbai, a group of girls are huddled over a phone, watching a clip from a popular Korean drama. The male lead gently brushes a strand of hair from the heroine's face, his voice low and affectionate. One girl sighs, “If only boys here were like this.” Across the room, a boy overhears the comment and chuckles—but he doesn’t say a word. He knows that if he tried something similar, it wouldn’t be admired. Not by the girl—but by his own friends, who would mock him. That moment captures the heart of the soft boy paradox—the growing pressure on Indian boys to behave like emotionally fluent, stylish, tenderhearted K-drama or C-drama heroes, while still being raised in a society that mocks exactly those traits in real life.

Why are these East Asian male leads so magnetic to Indian audiences? It’s not hard to see. In K-dramas, male protagonists are emotionally vulnerable yet strong, respectful lovers who listen more than they speak, and expressive in their devotion. They cry. They apologise. They nurture. These characteristics sharply contrast the dominant model of Indian masculinity—typically macho, emotionally distant, sometimes aggressive or entitled.

In a culture where girls and women are increasingly encouraged to assert their emotional needs, the fantasy of a man who not only understands but also communicates with kindness feels like a dream fulfilled. These onscreen men represent not just love, but emotional partnership. But translating that fantasy into lived reality is far more complex.

Indian boys are raised in an ecosystem that discourages vulnerability. From WhatsApp family jokes mocking male sensitivity to schools where bullies reinforce traditional gender codes, boys are taught early that emotional expression equals weakness. “Stop crying. Be a man.” It’s a phrase many boys hear before they’ve even learned how to describe what they feel.