THE SCIENCE BEHIND HANDLING YOUR TODDLER'S TANTRUMS

We look at what's really going on inside your toddler's brain during meltdowns, as well as how you can support them through these intense moments.

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Few parenting experiences can feel quite as overwhelming - or public - as your toddler having a full-blown meltdown. One moment everything is fine, and the next your little one is a red-faced bundle of flailing arms, tears and defiance, leaving you scrambling for the right way to respond.

While tantrums can feel chaotic, there is a lot happening under the surface. Understanding the science behind tantrums not only helps us respond more calmly, it also helps children learn essential emotional skills that they will carry with them for life.

WHY TODDLERS HAVE TANTRUMS

Tantrums are a normal part of child development. They are not a sign of bad behaviour, poor parenting or “naughtiness” - they are a reflection of a young brain that is still learning to manage big feelings.

Brain development

Between the ages of 1 and 3, the part of the brain responsible for emotional regulation - the prefrontal cortex - is still under construction. Meanwhile, the more reactive, emotional part of the brain - the amygdala - is fully online and very sensitive. This imbalance means toddlers often experience big waves of frustration, anger, disappointment or fear, but lack the tools to calm themselves down.

Words are tough

Language skills also come into play. When toddlers cannot find the words to express what they are feeling, their emotions come out physically instead. Add hunger, tiredness, overstimulation or sudden changes into the mix, and it’s no surprise that emotional eruptions happen.

In short, tantrums are not calculated. They are a sign that your child is overwhelmed and needs your help.

THE CHEMISTRY OF A MELTDOWN

When a toddler has a tantrum, their body is flooded with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. These chemicals prime the body for “fight or flight,” which is why you might see behaviours like kicking, screaming or running away.