Sitting in a basement studio hidden in the centre of Yerevan, Artyom reflected on his decision to desert the Russian army after a year spent fighting in Ukraine.
Just two weeks earlier, the former platoon commander was living in a trench. He has since abandoned his post and fled to the Armenian capital.
"I wanted no part in the imperialistic habits of our ruler," he said. "But I do feel guilt in front of Ukraine ... I could have said no, I just didn't know what the consequences would be."
Artyom, who asked for his last name to be withheld out of fear for his safety, is one of the growing number of Russian combatants who have fled the army over the past 20 months of war.
Coming from a small city in southern Siberia, Artyom said he joined a military boarding school as a teenager. He later signed a three-year contract with the Russian military, but quickly became disillusioned.
As Russian troops invaded Ukraine, he was stationed on the border training conscripts, but as the invasion faltered, forcing the Kremlin to announce a large-scale mobilisation, he was ordered to join the fighting.
Artyom was assigned to lead a signal platoon. He denied killing Ukrainians in combat and claimed he did not participate in or witness war crimes, but he still grapples with his role in the fighting.
"I don't try to excuse myself. My work enabled other forces to take part in the hostilities," he said.
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der November 03, 2023-Ausgabe von The Guardian Weekly.
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Diese Geschichte stammt aus der November 03, 2023-Ausgabe von The Guardian Weekly.
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