RICHARD IRVINE

DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST TIME DAD OF TWINS A new home in a new place...but the kids seem un-moved

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'What about the children?' is a question I've been dealing with on a regular basis ever since announcing we're moving house.

It would be fine if it were just up the road, but we're travelling cross country to start a new life, where we're going to forage in nature for food, build a house from trees, worship mother nature and home school, teaching the children how to live off the land.

I'm going to write a book about the experience, land a lucrative TV series, and then we'll put an end to the madness and move into a nice new-build with an en-suite for every room.

Although plans change, especially when it was just my idea. Victoria was doing the home-schooling, and I was planning to live in a nearby Travelodge, where I could focus on my writing.

So, we're going down a more usual route, despite my argument that Bear Grylls has done alright.