RULE OF THE MATRIARCHS

Baking bread in flight, wearing a soldier’s coat in disguise, educating orphaned children—the heroic story of how the Dalai Lama’s mother and sister raised a spiritual leader, sustained a community in exile, and shaped the course of modern Tibetan history

- BY NAMRATA BIJI AHUJA

During Losar, the Tibetan New Year, Gyayum Chenmo—literally “Great Mother”—the mother of the 14th Dalai Lama, allowed only one new item of clothing to be worn. It was her way of reminding her children and grandchildren that they were refugees, and that many Tibetan families could afford far less. From the fields of Amdo in eastern Tibet to the palaces of Norbulingka—the summer residence of the Dalai Lama in Lhasa—and later into exile in Dharamsala, she remained the guiding force of the Dalai Lama and the spiritual anchor of her family. As the matriarch of seven children and several grandchildren, she taught them discipline, compassion and mindfulness.

Once, her grandson Khedroob Thondup was feeding live worms to his aquarium fish. She stopped him gently. “This is not right,” she said. “You are letting one living being eat another.” From that day, he fed them only dry food.

Affectionately called “Mola” or “Momo” (Tibetan for grandmother, with “la” as an honorific), she passed on her love for India to her grandchildren. “My grandmother would join us on picnics, walk in gardens, and enjoy Indian street snacks with great enthusiasm,” says Khedroob, now 73. “She also loved cinema, and never lost her sense of wonder. She particularly liked stories of moral strength and human kindness.” She died in 1980, leaving behind not just her family but an entire nation in exile that continues to draw from her emotional and spiritual legacy. To them, she remains Gyayum Chenmo—the Great Mother.