The spiral of SILENCE

Are we becoming too scared of social sanctions to share our true opinions, asks Katie Scott

- Katie Scott

It was a conversation like so many that they had had before. Yes, it was a politically-charged topic - the war in Gaza - but they had talked about so many emotive subjects over the years. She and K had often had different opinions too. That day, though, it was different.

Fran has agreed to share her experience but is clearly still upset about it: 'I always had the confidence that we could talk about anything without offence,' she says. 'Yes, we often disagreed but we always found our way to amicable resolution, often using humour to divert each other around tricky topics."

She is now very guarded about what she says in front of someone she used to view as a close friend. They are, she adds, still on speaking terms, but she remains nervous of sharing her opinions; and even asked that her name be changed for this article.

We live in times where even the closest of friends can find themselves with starkly different views. Perhaps this has always been the case in turbulent times. But how often do we find ourselves holding back from sharing our views because we are scared of being rejected, or even losing friendships?

Ground-breaking studies into human communication and public opinion in the 1960s and 1970s discovered that we are hardwired to avoid sharing an opinion we perceive could be unpopular.