SEEKING OUT softness
Psychologies UK
|August 2025
Can't we avoid the harsh realities for a while, and just bask in the sweetness of summer, pleads Kate Townshend
One of my favourite things about summer is its texture. You can walk out into air that feels like a caress rather than a bite. Everyone is slower and lazier, as pub gardens fill and hazy sunlight pours through windows. Even nature provides a gentler landing, with lush green grass and soft sand providing the textures of the season.
Okay, yes, I realise this is a rather rose-tinted view. I do know, really, that it’s just as likely to be sunburn and crowds and sand in your sandwiches. But this idealised version — this dream of the perfect soft-focus summer — persists in my imagination. And on those magical days where real life does match the fantasy, I remember that part of the appeal is the softness of it all. In a world where everything often feels hard; where we're constantly expected to push and fight and stay tough, the act of surrendering to the gentleness of just being for a while, allowing ourselves to rest and soften, can feel thrillingly subversive.
In fact, the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that softness has something to teach us beyond those hazy summer days. Because reflecting on some of the hardest times of my life, embracing softness has often helped me through. When simply getting up in the morning feels tough, a soft blanket and a gently-steeped cup of tea can provide a counterbalance that just about tips things from impossible to possible. And the trope of melting into a hot bath after a difficult day exists for a reason — letting the rigid structures of daily life dissolve into something softer and more fluid is wonderfully freeing.
I wonder if it’s why I often crave the escape of wild swimming when I'm struggling. To be embraced by a river or the sea in the midst of life’s woes is a genuine comfort. And it’s an exercise that involves less pain and more gain for me precisely because of the yielding softness of the water.
Hard to understand?
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