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How to Deal with the Office DRAMA QUEEN

Balanced Life

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April 2023

Between the wannabe main characters and the sneaky antagonists, there can be a lot of hair pulling at work. Here's how to identify their tactic, side-step it and smash your deadlines all in a day's work.

- SAADIQAH SCHROEDER

How to Deal with the Office DRAMA QUEEN

Office drama is something we’ve all dealt with, but is it inevitable? Unfortunately, it is, argues Susi Astengo, an expert career coach and founder of CoachMatching. In 2016, she won the Businesswomen Association’s top prize, so she really knows a thing or two about surviving (and thriving) in an office environment. ‘Drama in the workplace comes because of differences – your colleagues aren’t usually bad people, but they come with their own baggage. When you come to work, you’re 100% a person, not just a work persona’, she explains.

However, this doesn’t mean that it’s an easy thing to work with someone who may be a bit of a character. But you can make it a lot easier by keeping your interactions factual and work-related, advises Penny Holburne, a multi-award-winning business and career coach, and founder of her own coaching business. These experts break down the five types of office drama queens – and how to make peace with them.

WHY THE DRAMA DEVELOPS

Way back in 1968, psychiatrist Stephen Karpman developed a model termed 'The Drama Triangle' which explains how conflict relates to what we believe about ourselves and our environment. This triangle revolves around three roles victim, rescuer, and persecutor. The victim is the 'feel sorry for me' role; the rescuer is the 'helper' or challenger role; and the persecutor is the resentful, 'bullying' role. When we're stuck in this triangle, we tend to take up one of these roles as the drama continues. The endless cycle of aggression, victimisation and rescuing continues endlessly - until you make a concerted effort to break free from this detrimental mindset.

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