BOUNCING BACK AFTER BETRAYAL

Sharon D'Silva takes matters of the heart into her own hands with the help of relationships counsellor RUCHI RUUH

- Sharon D'Silva

Japanese author Mineko Iwasaki once said: “Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime.”

An unexpected plot twist in the capricious web of love, betrayal can feel like playing a game of trust fall, but one in which the person you relied on to catch you moves out of the way at the very last minute – leaving you dazed and reeling from the unexpected blow. New Delhi-based relationships counsellor Ruchi Ruuh explains betrayal as ‘an act of deliberate disloyalty’ where promised expectations and commitments within a relationship are violated. While every relationship is inherently unique, a common thread emerges: the incoherence of the commitment. To make it easier to understand, she breaks down the most common forms of betrayal:

1. INFIDELITY

The most prevalent form of betrayal occurs when one of the partners engages in emotional or sexual affairs without the informed consent of their partner.

2. FINANCIAL BETRAYAL

Not talked about often, this is when one of the partners uses shared financial assets such as funds, bonds, accounts or even property for secret spending and/or gets into debt without informing their partner. 

3. ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR

Acts of betrayal can also encompass a range of harmful behaviours including disrespect, lying, deception, gaslighting, withholding information, the silent treatment, stonewalling, and even physical or sexual abuse.

4. BREACH OF TRUST