Not Without My Parents

The story of Samyuktha Vijayan, a transgender woman is proof that with ample family support and determination, one can trump any adversity, finds Nikshubha Garg

- Nikshubha Garg

‘‘My mother chose Samyuktha. I asked her for a suggestion and she said she likes this one,” recalls Samyuktha Vijayan as she reveals the reason behind picking the name post transition. Born Santosh Vijayan in Pollachi, Coimbatore, to a lower middle-class family, Samyuktha never identified as male, but fortunately, wasn’t penalised as is common with members of her community. In fact, she received unparalleled support from her parents. “My father never went to school, and my mother has studied up to the tenth standard, but they created an atmosphere where I could be myself. My mother encouraged me to take up Bharatanatyam when I was five. In the class, most students were girls, and in order to maintain homogeneity during performances, the dance instructor made boys wear girls’ costumes. For my first performance, my mother helped string jasmine flowers into my hair whereas my father stitched my blouse. They didn’t want to suppress my talent even though it did not follow convention,” she says.

Every year, until she was 15, Samyuktha dressed up as a girl, and performed on stage with gay abandon. In her mother’s words, she “couldn’t ignore the gleam in her eyes” when Samyuktha took the stage. That’s not to say she didn’t come across her share of naysayers. Peers called her names, and extended family would often advise Samyuktha’s parents against letting her continue Bharatanatyam, pointing out that she was “walking and talking like a girl”, but they remained unaffected. “Our parents wanted my siblings and I to change our manners, not our mannerisms. They never forced their opinions on us,” she says, emphatically.