COLBERT LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!

LATE-NIGHT star Stephen Colbert made funny cracks about being forced to cancel a week of his CBS talk show, but sources say the host narrowly cheated death after he was rushed to a hospital when his appendix exploded!

SHELTER RESCUE ANIMALS FED TO REPTILES!

250 bunnies, guinea pigs mice vanish

CHUNKY CAITLYN IS FALLING APART!

Struggling to walk after gaining 70 lbs.

WARNING! ANTIOXIDANTS HELP CANCERS SPREAD!

COMMON antioxidants found in vitamins and dietary supplements can be bad for your health, experts warn, because they may promote the growth of existing cancers!

BEARGLAR EATS HOMEOWNER'S ROTTING BODY!

Broke into house looking for food

CANADIAN BACON INVADING THE U.S.!

Unstoppable super pigs find hog heaven in northern states

ANDREW SETTLES ŚWINDLE CASE!

DISGRACED Prince Andrew has once again dished out big bucks to settle dirty business!

FEASTING ON THE DEAD!

Charles William get fat using ancient law to rob graves!

LAWYER BAGGED AS JAILHOUSE DOPE SMUGGLER

A LOSER lawyer is accused of smuggling drug-laced legal papers into a Texas county jail that’s suffered a wave of unexplained overdose deaths by inmates!

THE FRENCHIE CONNECTION!

Thugs steal $100G bulldog pups from California pet shop

BUSTED FOR POOPING ON DEAD POSSUM

RUDE Rudy Wilcox committed a crappy crime in Clearwater by pooping on a dead possum in a Florida intersection — during evening rush hour traffic, lawmen say.

TIFFANY VOWS THERE WON'T BE DUI THREE-PEAT

HUMILIATED Haunted Mansion beauty Tiffany Haddish vows to “get help” after being busted for a second DUI in less than two years.

MIFFED MARLA'S REVENGE FLING!

FBI dossier dishes she bedded Bolton after Trump spat

TOM GETTING MAN BOOBS OFF HIS CHEST

FITNESS fanatic Tom Cruise is obsessing over his saggy man boobs and refuses to believe it’s a Mission Impossible to fix them at age 61, insiders tattle.

BUNGLED FILLER SHOT MADE MY NOSE FALL OFF!

Deformed model's nip/tuck nightmare

BRIT'S SUCKING FAT FROM HER THUNDER THIGHS

BLOATED Britney Spears is hating her chunky bod and plotting a surgery overhaul to end the year in style, according to sources who say she’s going to start with zapping her ballooning thighs!

DEVILISH DYLAN GETS HIS JOLLIES ANGERING FANS!

At age 82, he doesn't give a damn

SULKY SELLECK'S BLUE BLOOD BOILS OVER CANCELLATION

TV cop, 78, wasn't ready to beat it!

FAITH TERRIFIED SHE'S OVER THE HILL AT 56!

Wh y country star isn’t going solo

NO CHEER IN DOLLYVILLE!

Fears 77-year-old is working her way into health crisis

AMY & T.J.ARE STILL RED-HOT COUPLE!

MORNING TV’s cheating lovebirds Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes are still going strong — they were spotted huggin’ and smoochin’ — and boozing — during a lunch outing in Manhattan.

SHATNER FINDS LOVE'S BETTER ON REBOUND!

SCI-FI legend William Shatner is still in demand after 70 years in showbiz, but Star Trek’s randy Captain Kirk prefers to spend his days — and nights — spoiling his ladylove, Elizabeth, and keeping the sparks alive in their rekindled relationship, tipsters say.

EVANGELISTA TOTALLY DONE WITH DUDES!

CATWALK legend Linda Evangelista’s troubled six-year marriage to former modeling bigwig Gérald Marie has so soured her on men, the still stunning 58-year-old insists she’s done with dating and even slipping between the sheets with a guy.

PREDATOR COSBY IN CASH SQUEEZE

TARNISHED superstar Bill Cosby may have been sprung from the Big House, but he's now imprisoned by money woes and selling off assets to pay for endless legal fees, according to insiders.

WHY MEGHAN IS PERFECT FOR REALITY TV!

TINSELTOWN'S buzzing Prince Harry's wife, Meghan, may join Bravo's Housewives franchise - and we think she'll fit right in with the greedy, spotlight-chasing show-offs who make reality TV such shameful fun!

DEATH CURSE HAUNTS GENERAL HOSPITAL!

A SHOCKING 11 current and former members of General Hospital's cast and crew have died in just two short years, leaving alarmed insiders buzzing the popular soap opera is cursed!

FUNERAL HOME IS DEAD WRONG!

Displays corpse in another gal's clothes & casket

RELIGIOUS STATUE FILMED WEEPING IN MEXICO CHURCH

But professor suspects it's just a hoax

THE FULL MONTY!

17-foot-2 python bagged in Florida

SEX CREEP ANDREW IS DEAD & BURIED!

King Charles disowns kid brother after new sex scandal explodes in U.S. and Canada