Losing a loved at any time is hard enough. There’s no other pain like it. But in this time of isolation there are extra layers to grief.
For many there’s the added pain of not being able to be at a loved one’s bedside and hold their hand as they take their final breaths. There’s the strange emptiness of not being able to share comforting hugs at a time when you really need them.
And there’s the surreal experience of funerals with a limited number of mourners physically present who are all standing one and a half metres apart.
Losing a loved one during lockdown can result in a complicated grief, says Lungile Lechesa, a clinical psychologist from Sandton, Johannesburg.
“Lockdown already comes with a big sense of loss – loss of control, freedom, safety, interaction and possibly income,” Lechesa says. “And now if a loved one dies, you might not get to see them prior to their passing to say goodbye, or might not be able to attend their funeral, which could make it more difficult to accept the death.”
The day her beloved grandfather died in Cape Town, former teacher Jessie Lambert had just landed in Joburg on a repatriation flight and was immediately placed in quarantine.
“I don’t feel I’ve been able to grieve for him yet,” says Jessie, who’d been stuck in Bali, Indonesia, since 26 March when she was told she couldn’t fly to SA due to the travel ban.
One of the hardest things is that her grandfather didn’t have his family with him in his final hours, Jessie says. “When lockdown started my mom couldn’t visit him and he called her twice to ask why she wasn’t visiting. He didn’t understand the concept of lockdown and not seeing my mom was distressing for him.
This story is from the 11 June 2020 edition of YOU South Africa.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the 11 June 2020 edition of YOU South Africa.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 8,500+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
THE MICHAEL'S ANGELS
The king of pop's kids are a close-knit trio who guard their privacy fiercely
BARBIES ON THE GO!
Sending their dolls 'travelling' around the country started as way to escape everyday life during the pandemic and four years later they're still going strong
THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED
These musician decided to pack up their lives and trek across the country - with three kids in tow!
TALES FROM THE DIRECTOR'S CHAIR
After 40 years in Tinseltown, filmmaker Ed Zwick is spilling the beans about the stars with the biggest egos in his tell-all memoir - and he doesn't regret a thing
India's national election
SOUTH Africa isn't the only country holding an election this year - America and India, among others, are also heading to the polls. Most countries hold elections every five years, and it typically takes place one day before the votes are counted.
IS YOUR BRA HARMING YOUR HEALTH?
Wearing the wrong bra size can cause more than discomfort - a poor fit can lead to bigger problems
MY STORY IS ONE OF HOPE
She was born with a rare condition that affects her muscles but it hasn't stopped Kerry from getting a degree or writing a book
DEATH FROM ABOVE
Drones, like the one used to kill seven aid workers in Gaza, are becoming common in battlefields
FINALLY I'M FREE
IT STARTED innocently enough, with a Bible study group, scripture readings and prayers in the suburbs of Centu rion.
CONJOINED IN HOLY MATRIMONY
Abby and Brittany have again sparked public interest after Abby's 2021 wedding recently made headlines