The 7 rules of a SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP

Kim Willis, 41, and her husband find out if their marriage stands the ultimate test...

- KIM WILLIS

Over the course of my 15-year relationship with my husband, Gaz, I’ve prided myself on its success. We argue, but once we’ve cooled down we try to learn from it. Before we became parents a year ago, I was confident our marriage was a winner, but there’s nothing quite like parenthood to test a relationship. If there are seven rules to a successful relationship, as suggested by The School of Life, an organisation offering resources for self-understanding and growth, how many do we abide by – and where is there room for improvement? Gaz and I find out.

1 THE PARTNER MUST FEEL HEARD 

They say a healthy relationship isn’t about the absence of conflict, it’s about navigating conflict well. I’m a social butterfly, while Gaz can be a right misery who would happily never attend a party. I want him to come out with me, so we often end up arguing over why he won’t happily, willingly, socialise. We may not feel heard in the heat of an argument, but to give me and Gaz some credit, we are good at coming back together for a hug and a better conversation in which we actually listen to each other.

LESSON LEARNT

Gaz and I will continue to communicate after every row, even when we don’t feel like it.

2 THEY MUST FEEL WE ARE ON THEIR SIDE