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Who can we blame for our daughters’ CANCER?
July 14, 2025
|WOMAN - UK
Three mums tell us the harrowing feelings of shock and incomprehension that came with their diagnoses
'SHE NEEDED ME TO BE STRONG'
Sue Hall, 68, lives near Leeds, with her husband David, 76. They have a son and a daughter, Becky, 34, who was diagnosed with incurable breast cancer last year.
When Becky and Mark [her husband] said they needed to talk to us, I thought she was going to announce she was pregnant. It never occurred to me that she was going to say she had breast cancer.
Much as I wanted to break down at the news, I couldn't: my daughter needed us both to be strong.
Until that point, we'd led a rather charmed life. Two wonderful children, private education, lovely holidays, no major health worries. And then, crash: and you realise money means nothing.
Becky insisted that David and I go on our planned holiday to France a few weeks later. But it was there that we got the devastating news that the cancer had actually spread to her bones.
We didn’t know what this meant at first - that it was incurable. Learning this put a totally different perspective on things. We found our different ways to cope. David is good at research and Mark, who she’s been with for 14 years [married for four] helps practically, attending appointments and cooking all Becky’s meals from scratch.
‘Money means nothing’
The best thing I can do for Becky (and myself) is to distract her: there are often times where I'll say: ‘Come on, let’s go for a coffee’ to keep her occupied.
I have a lot of guilt about her diagnosis. I've lain awake at night wondering if it’s something genetic in me or David that’s caused this. My maternal grandmother died of breast cancer and my paternal grandmother also had breast cancer in her 70s, but died years later of another cancer.
David’s mother also had breast cancer, but any genetic test for Becky has come back negative. I also find myself wondering - did I give her a healthy enough diet as a child?
Early menopause
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