Our wedding was real horror show

OUR June wedding was a complete nightmare.

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Now I wish I'd never met my wife - let alone married her. The day started badly with my parents messaging that they were ill and wouldn't be attending. Then I fell over the dog and hurt my arm.

At the church my bride was 25 minutes late. The vicar kept threatening to abandon the service and I had to beg him to wait.

Cake

I could tell my bride and most of her friends and family were already drunk.

They chatted, laughed and heckled throughout the ceremony. At the reception she had promised she wouldn't shove wedding cake into my face - but did it all the same.

The hotel had an outdoor pool and she took great pleasure in pushing me in just before the disco started.