The World's Heaviest Minivan (Also, Its Fanciest)

To suggest that Jeep's seven- or eight-passenger Wagoneer L/ Grand Wagoneer L twins are elephantine is to libel pachyderms. Both vehicles boast seven newfound inches of wheelbase and 12.0 bonus inches overall, compared with what we now quite inadvisably call their short-wheelbase kinsfolk. We are here to make you smile.

- JOHN PHILLIPS

2023 JEEP GRAND WAGONEER L 

Highs: Eats interstate miles like a Greyhound, luxury appointments of the new king's polo closet, will carry two caskets simultaneously.

Lows: Gas mileage that's difficult to countenance, cockpit electronics require a seven-day tutorial in Dallas, roughly as Jeepish as a Bentley.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold an SUV that, in latest limo guise, requires a 19-foot parking space.

Somewhere beneath the Grand I's 6428-pound heft, you can hear the pitiful whimpering of a Ram 1500 chassis, now absent its live axle in favor of an independent rear suspension.

It would require eccentric judgment to consider an L if you don't deploy it daily for ferrying the Denver Broncos' defensive line or transporting the occasional DOT-approved bridge. Jeep gathered us in a coffeehouse parking lot, where we collectively set a Guinness record for glacial

back-and-fill turns, using caffeinated civilians as billiard cushions. Of course, if your kids act up, stash 'em in the third row and tell them to write if they get work. Their contributions might help defray the top-spec Grand L's $113,990 sticker.

If you flatten the second- and third-row seats, the proverbial four-by-eight sheet of plywood slides in like a piece of dry toast. A nine-foot Orvis fly rod rests flat when inserted diagonally.