April 2019 - Issue no. 270
WE'VE ONLY GONE AND DONE IT YAYYY!

We've only gone and bloomin' dun nit haven't we?

Survived yet another dastardly Winter. The clocks haven gone forward, so this is it. Spring is in the air, and fingers crossed, we have another wonderful Summer ahead of us....

Another thing that’s just struck me that I can never get my head around is bus timetables. On rare occasions, I ever have cause to pick one up (which is usually on holiday, in order to get back from somewhere I’ve just trekked to)  I can never make head nor tail of them. What’s more, they often tend to be thick little booklets containing vast amounts of indecipherable information, when all I usually want to know is how often the bleedin’ number 52 runs.

Who writes these poxy things? And do they ever get the weekend and Bank Holiday information correct?

I’ve just had a gander online at what are reckoned to be the 10 best things to do in Chelmsford and, quite honestly, I’m not even remotely interested in looking at, or visiting, any of the things suggested. Which says an awful lot about supposedly Essex’s number one town/city, wouldn't you say?

No, I don’t know what’s come over me either. But I would honestly like to wish all of you regular Edge readers (and sod all those who merely dip in and out of the mag every now and then) a stonkingly good Crimbo.

What I’ve been banging on about for the past couple of years seems to have finally come to fruition. Chelmsford town/city centre has reached gridlock proportions, certainly so far as Saturday afternoons are concerned.


THE WORD OF ROMESH “My wife’s a wonderful woman. She deserves the very best. It’s just I can’t be arsed to do enough about it to get it for her.”

25 YEAR ANNIVERSARY:  Do you realise it’s 25 years since wife Lorena cut off husband John Wayne Bobbitt’s ‘bobbitt’ in a fit of pique with an 8-inch carving knife?
Ex-marine Bobbitt was quoted as saying at the time, “Aw, it’s just a scratch.” Now that is what you call being HARD

And for all those of you not in the slightest bit interested in the footie, you do realise that the 2018-19 Premiership season resumes with an evening kick-off - yes, an evening kick-off - on Friday 10th August, don’t you? Only no, I don’t suppose you do.

Spotted a notice in a dentists the other day that read: Specialists in oral health. Nothing wrong with that. Only the word ‘health’ was on the line below, so it certainly made me do a double-take.

RATTLE PARKS
The words Retail Park are soooo last year.
So in future, readers, whenever you are thinking about paying Riverside or Chelmer Village or the new Clock Tower Retail Parks a visit, you are now planning a trip to a Rattle Park instead, got it? And your kids will be all the more excited about a trip/adventure there too.

Mmmmmmmm!

Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference Buttermilk Crumpets with Anchor butter and St. Dalfour raspberry jam on top, with a couple of slices of extra-strong vintage cheddar cheese.

BEST DAY OF THE WEEK: I heard something on the radio about Fridays being ‘the second best day of the week’. Really? So far as I’m concerned, it’s the best day of the week, as the weekend’s all in front of you and I oh so love my Friday nights (even though all I pretty much do with ’em these days is drink too much red wine and watch Gogglebox).

I picked a discarded train ticket up off the floor just before I entered Costa Coffee outside Chelmsford railway station the other day, as hey, that’s the kind of guy I am (I honestly detest litter), only I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read what was printed on it.

It was a peak travel first-class return ticket between Chelmo and Liverpool Street and the price was an astronomical fifty quid.
Jeez, you’d think people who can afford that sort of money would be folks of a certain standing in life, wouldn’t you?

Rather than common litter louts.

Why is it that most British people seem to have no trouble whatsoever pronouncing the French car manufacturer Renault as Renowe, yet when it comes to ordering a croissant, dear oh dear. It isn’t crossont. It’s quason.

Was enjoying a sausage sandwich with plenty of HP sauce the other Saturday morning, when all of a sudden the washing machine ended its cycle. “Allow me to attend to the niceties of hanging up the whites to dry,” I said to my missus. Only a bit later, upon inspection, the wife was puzzled to see that not all of the stains appeared to have come out of the tea towels. Or her knickers. Or.... And it was then that the penny dropped and I was in for yet another bollocking. The moral of this story is: always wash your hands before you hang any washing up/out to dry after a sausage sarnie.

EVERY NOW & THEN

Not often. Not very often at all, come to think of it, which is sad. Really sad. But every now and then, if you’re lucky, you come across a person who is just so worthwhile and has so simply ‘got it’ - that special, indefinable elixir that makes you instantly understand that you are not alone in this world after all, and that it is really not your fault, or problem, that most other people are just so damned annoyingly normal, with so very little to offer, that you sometimes end up feeling quite desperately out-of-sorts. So thank you very much indeed, Carol.

FWESH FWOM CHINA

Received an email from KJ Gao recently, who informed me that he (or maybe it’s a she?) spe- cialises in tungsten alloy fishing sinkers. Hmmm, I definitely think it’s a ‘he’.  KJ (Knobjockey?) said: “Now we can supply you with tungsten alloy fishing sinkers and tungsten alloy fishing balls which we manufacturer from our own moulds.” This email somehow reached The Edge from China, if you hadn’t already guessed.

 always get a little bit perplexed when I see someone driving around, usually gingerly, usually female (as us males wouldn’t dream of advertising the fact that we’re not fully qualified/adequate in any way, shape or form) with a white and green P-plate - for ‘probationary’ - stuck to the back of their car

It’s amazing the obscenities that a mere trip to Sainsbury’s can elicit from my mouth.

I think I was a bit harsh on Joanna Lumley in the June issues. I know she reads The Edge, so frankly, it’s been playing on my mind.

If you read a bit about it, Jihad is supposedly not a violent concept, nor is it a declaration of war against other religions. 

I actually got called a twat by someone who works in Asda the other day. Yes, readers, by a member of Asda staff

OK, so Thailand. This, my most recent trip, must have been my sixth visit to The Golden Kingdom, although sadly it will probably go down as my least memorable.

I heard a lad comment to his girlfriend that someone had clearly “dropped their guts” on the upper tier of T.K.Maxx the other Saturday. Trouble is, I’ve now reached the age where I honestly can’t recall whether it was me?

Have you ever heard anyone say, “Oh, that’s a wonderful fleece you’re wearing?” No, me neither.

Jane Rowland sent me this, which I thought was pretty perky:- “I can only sleep on stacks of old Edge magazines. I’ve got back issues.”

Sad to see actor Peter Vaughan pop his clogs at the ripe old age of 93 towards the end of 2016. You may remember he played the part of legendary villain Grouty alongside Ronnie Barker in Porridge, and before that Robert Lindsay’s  girlfriend’s dad in Citizen Smith back in the late seventies, amongst many other fine roles. I’m surprised he never got to star as a James Bond villain as he was superb at the deadpan stare and he’d have looked imperial with his white hair stroking a white cat on his lap.

RAILWAY STATION: Despite what I informed you of last month, if you’re a commuter, you can now pick up a copy of The Edge from Puccino’s on platform one at Chelmsford station and get yourselves a nice hot brew into the bargain!

Chelmsford railway station does look greatly improved these days, doesn’t it? But it would be even better if you could get a copy of The Edge there.
Sadly, you’ve got Metro to thank for that, who won’t allow any other publications to have a look in, due to the contract they’ve signed (one must
assume) with Abellio Greater Anglia. The question begs, what are they scared of?

April 2019

March 2019

February 2019

January 2019

December 2018

November 2018

October 2018

September 2018

August 2018

July 2018

June 2018

May 2018

April 2018

March 2018

February 2018

January 2018

The Edge is a local magazine/fanzine for Chelmsford Essex thats has been running for many years. Regular features include: Current Affairs, Local News & Entertainment.

1. You agree that the use of Magzter.com, the application and its services, are at solely at your own risk. Neither Magzter.com nor its associates nor employees nor third party content providers guarantee that the service will be completely uninterrupted or error-free or foolproof against miscreant activities. Nor do they warranty that you will get the exact results as expected or promised by the website or product.

11. THE SERVICE AND ALL PUBLICATIONS ARE PROVIDED ON AN 'AS IS' AND 'AS AVAILABLE' BASIS. MAGZTER, ITS AFFILIATES, SUPPLIERS, LICENSORS AND AGENTS EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, WHETHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NON-INFRINGEMENT. WITHOUT LIMITING THE FOREGOING, NEITHER MAGZTER NOR ITS AFFILIATES, SUPPLIERS, LICENSORS OR AGENTS, MAKES ANY WARRANTY THAT (I) THE SERVICE WILL MEET YOUR REQUIREMENTS, (II) THE SERVICE WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED, TIMELY, SECURE, OR ERROR-FREE, (III) THE INFORMATION THAT MAY BE OBTAINED FROM THE USE OF THE SERVICE OR THAT MAY BE CONTAINED IN THE PUBLICATIONS WILL BE ACCURATE OR RELIABLE, OR (IV) THE QUALITY OF ANY PUBLICATIONS OR THE SERVICE WILL MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS. YOU ARE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR OBTAINING AND MAINTAINING RELIABLE INTERNET CONNECTIVITY AND YOUR DEVICE. MAGZTER IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR INABILITY TO DOWNLOAD CONTENT. ANY MATERIAL DOWNLOADED OR OTHERWISE OBTAINED THROUGH THE USE OF THE SERVICE IS DONE AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION AND RISK AND YOU WILL BE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGE TO YOUR COMPUTER SYSTEM OR MOBILE DEVICE OR LOSS OF DATA THAT RESULTS FROM THE DOWNLOAD OF ANY SUCH MATERIAL. NO ADVICE OR INFORMATION, WHETHER ORAL OR WRITTEN, OBTAINED BY YOU FROM MAGZTER OR THROUGH OR FROM THE SERVICE SHALL CREATE ANY WARRANTY.

2. You will maintain and promptly update that information to keep it true, accurate, current and complete. You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your account and password and for restricting access to your computer, and you agree to accept responsibility for all activities that occur under your account, including the selection and use of all content and services.

2.You will maintain and promptly update that information to keep it true, accurate, current and complete. You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your account and password and for restricting access to your computer, and you agree to accept responsibility for all activities that occur under your account, including the selection and use of all content and services.

3. In no event will Magzter.com or any person or entity or third party involved in the creation, production and distribution of the content on the website and the application be liable in contract or legally for any damages, including and not limited to, direct, indirect, incidental, special, and consequential incurred to you while or on using Magzter.com. By registering on the website or downloading the application, you agree that the provisions mentioned in this section shall apply to all use of and content on the website and the application.

3. Without prior written or authorised permission from Magzter, you should not modify, copy, distribute or sell any content obtained from Magzter as everything published here is the proprietary property of Magzter or its licensors. As such unauthorised use may also violate applicable laws including copyright and trademark laws, Magzter strictly prohibits these and will terminate your access and account if any such illegal activity is proved or detected. You should also stand liable for the damages caused by these unauthorised activities. Except as permitted by the Publication's lawful owner, you acknowledge that you do not acquire any ownership rights by downloading Publications accessed through the Service. Except as explicitly required under copyright law or permitted by the features of the Service you may not modify, reverse engineer, publish, transmit, display, participate in the transfer or sale, create derivative works of, or in any way commercially exploit or provide to a third party the content of the App, the Publications, or any portion of them without the express permission of Magzter and the owner of such content. We do not grant you any licenses, express or implied, to the intellectual property of Magzter or Magzter's licensors.

5. You specifically acknowledge that Magzter.com is not liable for any kind of defamatory or offensive or illegal conduct of other users or third parties or their content and that the risk of injury from the foregoing rests entirely with you.

8. Magzter reserves all rights to monitor the content published and inputted by you for the purpose of determining whether you are compliant with these terms and conditions and other operating rules determined by Magzter. Magzter has the right to take decisions about the content and delete them at its own will.

9. Magzter is a distributor and NOT a publisher of the Publications and so Magzter has no editorial control over the content, including opinions, advice, statements, services, offers etc., that is represented in the magazines. So Magzter will not take responsibility for the accuracy or the reliability for any information or facts provided therein or that is made available through the service, by anyone other than authorised Magzter employees who are acting on their official capacities. Accordingly, we have no editorial control over the Publications. Any opinions, advice, statements, services, offers or other information or content expressed or made available by third parties, including those made in Publications offered by the Service, are those of the respective author(s) or publisher(s) and not of Magzter. Magzter will not be liable for any loss or damage caused by your reliance on information obtained through the Service or from the Publications. The Service may contain links to other Internet sites and third-party resources and Magzter does not assume any responsibility or liability for communications or materials available at such linked sites. These links are provided for your convenience only. You are solely responsible for understanding any terms and conditions that may apply when you visit or place an order through a third-party site.

Details of the objectionable content, including its link on our platform

Download your favorite titles and read them offline, anytime and anywhere

Gift your loved ones with a Magzter Gift Card instantly and give them the freedom to read their favorite magazines and newspapers from thousands of best-selling titles.

Gift your loved ones with a Magzter Gift Card instantly and give them the freedom to read their favorite magazines from thousands of best-selling titles.

Gift your loved ones with a Magzter Gift Card instantly and give them the freedom to read their favorite magazines from {{magCount}} best-selling international titles.

Girish Ramdas is the Co-founder and CEO of Magzter, a New York based startup that has been making waves in the global digital publishing business. Magzter has crossed 80 million users since its inception in 2011 from more than 150+ countries with 1000s of magazines, newspapers and books from more than 4,500 publishers worldwide. He has more than 25 years of experience in cross-platform publishing, including print, mobile, and Web development. During this period, he has co-founded and run three successful start-up businesses. He has enabled magazine companies to go digital and helps them monetize their content across the digital world. Girish's deep industry experience in online, mobile and publishing ecosystems has made him an expert in acquisition, marketing and monetizing digital content across platforms globally.

In the event that you encounter any objectionable content on our platform, we have put in place a grievance redressal policy to address your concerns.

Magzter Inc. (“Company”, “we”, “us” or “our”) knows that you care about how your personal information is used and shared. Please read the following privacy policy (the “Policy”) to learn more about our privacy practices. By visiting any of the websites operated by the Company, and any sub-domains thereof, or using any of our mobile applications and other methods of content distribution (collectively, the “Service”), you acknowledge that you accept the practices and policies outlined in this Policy, and you hereby consent that we will collect, use, and share your information in the following ways.

Magzter Inc. is the World's largest and fastest growing self-service, cross-platform digital newsstand with over 80 million users since its inception in 2011 and thousands of magazines and newspapers across 40+ categories and 60+ languages. Headquartered in New York, Magzter has its local presence in Amsterdam, London, Mexico City, Chennai, Mumbai, New Delhi, Bengaluru, Singapore, and will soon be expanding to other countries. Founded by global entrepreneurs, Girish Ramdas and Vijay Radhakrishnan in June 2011, Magzter enables magazine and newspaper publishers around the world to create and deliver digital editions of their titles to global consumers.

Magzter is committed to providing a safe and secure platform for our users. Please note that Magzter is merely a platform for publishers to distribute their content. We do not control or endorse the content published on our platform. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of our publishers or their content.

Magzter is not responsible for compensating any party that has suffered damages or incurred costs due to any content, or part of the content, that violates their rights. Magzter is not liable to face any legal action in civil court for any violation of rights caused by any content, or part of the content, that infringes the rights of a third party.

Magzter offers the world’s largest {{allyoucanread}} subscription service called {{gold}} which gives digital readers unlimited access to 8,500+ magazines and newspapers for a monthly subscription price. Magzter also has the largest number of stories in the world with its game-changing ezRead 2.0 feature for its apps, which enables smartphone and small-screen mobile users to enjoy magazine content the way it was meant to be enjoyed, with article text that is easy to read and is accompanied by stunning videos and high resolution photography.

Magzter offers the world’s largest “All-You-Can-Read” subscription service called Magzter GOLD which gives digital readers unlimited access to 8,500+ magazines and newspapers for a monthly subscription price. Magzter also has the largest number of stories in the world with its game-changing ezRead 2.0 feature for its apps, which enables smartphone and small-screen mobile users to enjoy magazine content the way it was meant to be enjoyed, with article text that is easy to read and is accompanied by stunning videos and high resolution photography.

Name

Note: This will only share the cover and the publication information, but not the content.

Please fill out this form if you need any help regarding publishing your content on Magzter

Prior to Magzter, he was the President of Dot Com Infoway (DCI) and Galatta Media. His duties included strategic marketing, partnership development, and monetizing content globally. DCI grew from a small team of 3 in 2000 to 300 by 2011 and was dealing with web, software and app development for clients globally.

Since we launched, Magzter has been committed to partnering with global organizations to provide the greatest possible newsstand technology & service to our customers. Whether you are looking to offer magazine subscriptions to your customer database or just want to learn more, Magzter is committed to helping your business grow. To find out more, please fill out the questionnaire below:

The DMCA allows us to restore the removed content if the party filing the original DMCA Notice does not file a court action against you within ten business days of receiving the copy of your Counter Notice.

This Policy covers Company’s treatment of personally identifiable information (“Personal Information”) and other information about you and your computer or device that Company gathers when you are accessing the Service. We may collect Personal Information from you, as explained in more detail below, and we use this Personal Information internally in connection with our Services, including to personalize, provide, and improve our products, services, content, and advertising, and to allow you to set up a user account and profile, to contact you, to fulfill your requests for certain products and services, and to analyze how you use the Services. In certain cases, we may also share some Personal Information with third parties, but only as described in point 4.

This title is included with your Magzter GOLD subscription

To analyze the quality of content and provide appropriate feedback to publishers

We have designated a Grievance Officer to address any complaints related to objectionable content.

We request that any complaint related to objectionable content be sent to the Grievance Officer through email to the above-mentioned email address. We also request that you provide the following details when making a complaint:

and the App that provides you the capability to order, subscribe to and receive the delivery of various magazines, books, news and magazine and publication related content (collectively known as 'Publications') and to have these digital versions of the Publications delivered to you

c. We also collect information associated with your use of the application in order to make personalized recommendations. If you provide your third-party account credentials to us, you understand some content and/or information in those accounts (“Third Party Account Information”) may be transmitted into your account with us if you authorize such transmissions, and that Third Party Account Information transmitted to the Service is covered by this Policy.

f. The Personal Information we collect allows us to respond to your requests, improve our products and services, customize the advertising and content you see, and communicate with you about new products.

is the World's largest and fastest growing self-service, cross-platform digital newsstand with over 87 million users since its inception in 2011 and thousands of magazines and newspapers across 40+ categories and 60+ languages. Headquartered in New York, Magzter has its local presence in Amsterdam, London, Mexico City, Chennai, Mumbai, New Delhi, Bengaluru, Singapore, and will soon be expanding to other countries. Founded by global entrepreneurs, Girish Ramdas and Vijay Radhakrishnan in June 2011, Magzter enables magazine and newspaper publishers around the world to create and deliver digital editions of their titles to global consumers.

n. We will also use usage information in order to ensure users adhere to our Terms of Use. For example, a user’s usage information will help us confirm that a user only downloads a magazine or other content a permitted number of times or to a permitted number of devices.

which gives digital readers unlimited access to 8,500+ magazines and newspapers for a monthly subscription price. Magzter also has the largest number of stories in the world with its game-changing ezRead 2.0 feature for its apps, which enables smartphone and small-screen mobile users to enjoy magazine content the way it was meant to be enjoyed, with article text that is easy to read and is accompanied by stunning videos and high resolution photography.

{{magzter}} is the World's largest and fastest growing self-service, cross-platform digital newsstand with over 87 million users since its inception in 2011 and thousands of magazines and newspapers across 40+ categories and 60+ languages. Headquartered in New York, Magzter has its local presence in Amsterdam, London, Mexico City, Chennai, Mumbai, New Delhi, Bengaluru, Singapore, and will soon be expanding to other countries. Founded by global entrepreneurs, Girish Ramdas and Vijay Radhakrishnan in June 2011, Magzter enables magazine and newspaper publishers around the world to create and deliver digital editions of their titles to global consumers.

The Edge Mag Magazine - March 2019

The Edge Mag Magazine - March 2019

In this issue

The Edge Mag Magazine Description: