STUCK IN THE MIDDLE

Help son with his maths, then bathe Grandpa

- ELAINE HAYWARD

With more people becoming ‘sandwich carers’, Woman's Own investigates the physical, emotional and financial toll this can take When it comes to family, we'd all do anything for them. But for many, that commitment means juggling the needs of ageing parents and young children at the same time. Around 1.3 million people in the UK are ‘sandwich generation’ carers – those who look after children (their own, or grandchildren) and elderly relatives at the same time. It can be exhausting and emotionally tough.

Sandwich carers, particularly those who are providing more than 20 hours of care a week, suffer a deterioration in both their mental and physical health, according to a recent study by University College London. Women are more likely to be affected, and the stress can linger for years. To mark Carers Week (9-15 June), we speak to one sandwich-generation carer about her experiences.

‘It’s exhausting’

Lisa Ibrahim, 59, lives in Aveley, Essex My mum, Rose, had always been an active, independent woman. She loved her garden, catching up with friends, and doing everything herself. But in her 80s, things began to change. Her long-term memory stayed sharp, but she started forgetting conversations and repeating herself more often.

Lockdown in 2020 made everything worse. Mum, then 84, seemed to fade. The GP referred her for tests, and we muddled through.

WORSENING HEALTH

My dad had died years earlier, and my sister had moved to Dubai in 2004. So, it was just me. Mum lived 20 minutes away in Essex, which wasn’t far, but I work full-time as a PA and couldn’t afford to cut my hours to help Mum. Thankfully, my employer was understanding and I compressed my week into four long days, keeping Wednesdays free for Mum.