FIX FESTIVE FALL-OUTS

Do your Christmas celebrations usually include family fireworks? Here's how to weather the seasonal storms.

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Remember the golden days of Christmas, where all you had to worry about was snaffling the last 'purple one' and getting to sleep before Santa crept into your bedroom? As an adult, Christmas can be a different experience with weeks of anxiety and prep, often culminating in some sort of dingdong (not-so-merrily on high).

Christmas is a time of great expectations, says Lucy Blake, author of Home Truths: The Facts and Fictions of Family Life*. 'We think spending it together with loved ones should be positive, meaningful and magical - but we often expect too much, creating an impossible reality to achieve.'

But while we can't change our nearest and dearest, we can change our mindset. Here's how.

Learn from the past

Still reeling from when the in-laws got in a mood about where you spent the big day or how friends made you feel bad for leaving the rolling buffet early? Then...

MAKE A PLAN

Think about how you want things to go then email or text a plan - so it's there in black and white. 'That way people know what's expected - for example, do they need to bring food, who's doing what/providing what,' says Dee Holmes, clinical services manager at Relate. Allow for flexibility, though, as guests may need to feed children, take medication or rest at certain times.

POSITIVELY MANAGE EXPECTATIONS