I came home to find my husband WEARING A DRESS

Nat Barbor* made a shock discovery years into her relationship

- NAT BARBOR DAILY MAIL

The house was quiet when I let myself in after an evening out with friends. I walked into the living room, expecting to find my husband, Anthony*, on the sofa watching TV. Instead, there was a strange woman standing there, waiting for me. She was tall and slim, with blonde bobbed hair. It took my brain a second to register that this was not a woman, but a man. And then, with shock, that this was no stranger. It was my husband, in full drag.

He was wearing a fitted dress filled out with a padded bra, black tights and heels, and a wig. His face was covered in full make-up, with thick foundation, mascara, eyeliner and bright red lipstick, and his nails were painted in matching red nail polish.

The transformation made him look much older, somehow. In fact, he now looked rather like his mother, my mother-in-law. Shocked, I reached for the sofa as I felt my legs buckle beneath me. It was the moment when my now ex-husband's lifelong secret also became my secret, and our marriage changed forever.

Complete surprise

We were both in our early 40s and had not long been married - although we had been living together for over a year - and until then, I'd had absolutely no idea about his predilection. It's important here to stop and define exactly what I mean. Dressing up as a woman, once known as transvestism, is not the same as identifying as the opposite sex. A biological male who dresses up in women's clothing is not a trans woman. He is not innately uncomfortable with living as a man.

A few decades ago, transvestism was widely viewed as a form of fetishism, with female clothing as the fetish. And for men like my ex-husband, that's what it was: a way of achieving sexual arousal and gratification.