Learning to let a go

After her eldest son quit uni to head to parts unknown, Kylie Gillies was forced to confront a new chapter. She reveals the emotional roller-coaster her family faced - and how she learned mother may not always know best.

- TIFFANY DUNK

There's a quote which Kylie Gillies looks at as a constant reminder. Originally uttered by Mother Teresa, it has since become a mantra for many parents across the globe: "You will teach them to fly but they will not fly your flight. You will teach them to dream but they will not dream your dream."

The Morning Show co-host forced herself to think of these words the day her eldest son, Gus, sat her and husband Tony down to announce he was dropping out of university, getting a job in a pub and then planning an open-ended trip to travel the world in the hope of finding his purpose.

She has continued to think of them in the 12 months since. For when Gus made his announcement, she admits, "I did lose it". Not just over his change in direction but the fact that, for the first time, her boy would be leaving home - the slow march to empty nesting beginning and for the first time, she was completely unable to oversee or have a hand in his decision making.

"Is this my dream - for Gus to defer uni and see what happens?" she asks The Weekly as we sit down with her, one week before her eldest is due to depart the country. "That's not my dream. That was never my dream. My dream was to work really hard and get a cadetship, be a journalist. But that's not his dream.

"So you have to trust. That's been a really big lesson for me to learn to trust the process. And I'm not there yet. I don't want to be too fairytale about it. Gus is about to leave for Europe, and I am filled with anxiety. People on the periphery can look in and go, 'Wow, how exciting, how awesome, he needs that to spread his wings.' And, in theory, I get that. But my heart is breaking."