AS BOTH MY PARENTS WERE DYING, GARDENING EASED MY GRIEF

When Jeni Driscoll's mother and father fell ill, she found peace while planting her summer garden. And despite her heartbreak, precious memories and love blossomed

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It’s a little early to be planting so much, thought Jeni Driscoll in February of 2022 as she tilled her garden to plant tomatoes, strawberries, zucchini and lavender. Living in Southern California, she often had warm, sunny days in February, so it wasn’t unheard of to start planting. But it was early for Jeni, who usually waited until April to sow her summer garden. This year is different, she thought. I need to do it. Here, Jeni shares how gardening served as an outlet for her devastation as she watched her parents slowly decline. Now, she plants each year in remembrance of them.

“My mom, who was 85, was out walking her dog on a September day in 2021 when her legs gave out. Paramedics took her to the hospital and doctors ran multitudes of tests. A few weeks later, with no definite diagnosis, she returned home to my 93-year-old dad.

“To our dismay, Mom kept falling… daily. Every time it happened, my two sisters and I noticed her memory would also get worse. The cycle of falling and forgetting became more frequent.

“The doctor soon diagnosed her with vascular dementia. I crumbled inside at his words: ‘Your mom will never walk again.’

“She was placed under hospice care, and at the beginning of January 2022, she moved to a board-and-care facility. Mom’s once-strong legs could no longer hold her up. Her glazed eyes didn’t sparkle like they used to. Every time I visited her, I prayed it wouldn’t be the day she’d forget me.