Downtime with OSCAR BEARD

"A MUSCLE SIMULATOR I BOUGHT TURNED OUT TO BE A TENS MACHINE FOR PREGNANT WOMEN!"

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What's the funniest thing you've seen on the pitch? It involved Mike Brown when he was playing for Newcastle against Quins a few years ago. Matas Jurevicius stripped the ball off him but Browny was shouting: “My knees are down, my knees are down!”

The ref looks at him, Matas goes “what?” and then just hands the ball back to Browny on the floor. The look on his face. Everyone was creasing.

Do you have any phobias?

I'm not the biggest fan of spiders like tarantulas, but I'm not that squeamish with anything.

What annoys you?

People who try to get on the train or the tube when they're supposed to wait for everyone to get off first.

That rattles me.

Also, when you're driving and someone is flashing you from behind, trying to overtake when you can't overtake - that annoys me as well.

What is the best present you've ever received?

The air fryer my mum got me for Christmas. That's had a lot of use.

What's the silliest thing you've ever bought?

When I was younger in the academy, I saw all these players with Compex muscle stimulators. So I bought what I thought was one with an Amazon voucher from my grandparents and it turned out to be a TENS machine for pregnant women!

What is the best advice you've received?