"Use Your Words" Can Be Good for Kids' Health

Writing or expressing feelings can help adults mentally and physically. Kids are no different

- BY J. DAVID CRESWELL

IN A DESPERATE PARENTING MOMENT after dinner, I told my six-year-old, who was mid-meltdown, “Use your words!” He had just started yelling and hitting his eight-year-old sister because she wasn’t sharing a stuffed animal he believed was his. Both kids froze for a second, giving me just enough of a pause to slow my own quickly rising emotions.

Looking back, I realize I never actually explained to my kids why words can help. But putting feelings into words is how we begin to name what’s happening inside us, and that naming can start to change the experience itself. Sometimes, as research shows, the words we choose to describe our lives can shape our mental health for months and years to come.

As a psychologist who has spent the better part of two decades studying stress and resilience in my Health and Human Performance Laboratory at Carnegie Mellon University, I explore how verbalizing our feelings can transform experience.

It can help us manage heated moments and also supports healing from life's hardest situations. Research published over the past 40 years on expressive disclosure—literally, using your words—shows it can lead to significant health improvements, especially for those coping with stressful life events. After writing about a challenging situation, people report fewer doctor visits, reduced pain, stronger immune function, and better outcomes for conditions such as asthma and arthritis.