INZOI

A gorgeous life sim with so many unimportant things to do

- Mollie Taylor

For a game so insistent on letting me forge my own narrative, inZOI makes it weirdly difficult to do so. I'm a real sucker for a meet-cute storyline, so I've been making my Zoi chat up a guy she met in the park, Will Stewart - he's all artsy with curly hair and spends his entire day painting at an easel, the exact sort of soft creative that fits the plot I'm conjuring in my head in real time.

I send my Zoi home after hours of bouncing around conversation topics with wildly varying vibes - the rise of AI, the stock prospects of the K-pop industry, my go-to pizza recipe, all perfectly normal stuff to talk to a relative stranger about - ready to continue the conversation with Will over the phone. Except, er, I can't seem to call him. Or invite him round. Or even email him. He's a total ghost, only existing within the confines of his park easel. Which he insisted on returning to between each interaction, by the way.

Turns out that was only the first of many bizarre roadblocks I'd encounter in my 30 hours of seemingly being in a constant push-pull against inZOI's simulation. Sure, the game has all the necessary parts to stand side by side with The Sims, but it has a lot more to do before it can actually get there.

ALL STYLE, NO SUBSTANCE

I mean, that's understandable to an extent. Not only is inZOI launching into Early Access, it's also got approximately, you know, 25 years of Maxis legacy knowledge to contend with. Especially since this is basically the only other game we've had vaguely resembling The Sims in over two decades. It feels wild that I'm even getting the chance to play an alternative that comes close to its size and scale.

And like,