Parents, don't let the manosphere raise your child

Regular, honest conversations between the parent and child are the best defence. And it's simpler than we think.

- Martha Tara Lee

In my 17 years as a relationship counsellor and clinical sexologist, I've had parents arrive at my practice confused and frightened.

They've seen their teenage sons locking their bedroom doors, spending long stretches in the toilet or in front of mirrors. Or, they may have walked in on their sons watching porn.

More worryingly, they may have overheard their son trash-talking women with his friends, using language so crude it shocks them.

They think: What kind of man is my son becoming? Will he get into trouble? Hurt someone?

And then they ask me: What do I do?

In recent years, I've noticed an increase in such parents seeking help. While some of these concerns have always existed, I see a change.

Many parents are no longer just worried about pornography; they're alarmed by a change in the values, entitlement, and hostility towards women that their sons are picking up through social media and online influencers.

It's an online world quietly shaping how our boys think about women, known as the "manosphere" - and the impact is not just theoretical.

In 2024, more than 460 youth aged 19 and below were arrested for sexual crimes. It was reported that possible reasons include early exposure to pornography. Inappropriate and inaccurate information may also lead to distorted perceptions about sexual activities.

The recent news of a 16-year-old boy who pleaded guilty to raping a 13-year-old girl at a Bukit Panjang carpark was also disturbing.

THE RISE OF THE 'MANOSPHERE'

The term "manosphere" reportedly first appeared online on a blog in 2009. It started off as scattered men's interest blogs. But it has since grown into a vast network promoting misogyny, anti-feminism, and male victimhood.