Finding My Place as a Chinese Singaporean Abroad

As an ethnic Chinese from Singapore, the writer reflects on being mistaken for a Chinese national abroad

- Soh Wee Ling

JAPAN - "Please wait a moment," the Japanese store assistant tells me as she fetches her colleague, a Chinese national.

I am looking at kitchen towels in Nakagawa Masashichi Shoten's flagship store in Nara and hope to buy the one it has been making since its founding in 1716. But my attempts to communicate with the store assistant in English have failed even after resorting to the in-store translation gadget and Google Translate.

Vacationing in Japan after six years, I notice that there are more Chinese tourists. As an ethnic Chinese from Singapore, I am inevitably mistaken for one of them. It is something I have struggled with - adamant to be identified as Singaporean even as I try to be more in touch with my Chinese roots.

I have never felt more conscious of my Singaporean identity, including what it means to be Chinese Singaporean, than when I am outside Singapore.

In China, where I lived in Shanghai from 2005 to 2010, I learnt firsthand how Singapore's path diverged when our ancestors made the decision to leave for Nanyang. I learnt that Singapore traditions like the Hungry Ghost Festival do not exist in China.

I communicate effortlessly in Mandarin with my friends there, but we do not share the same sense of humour. I express myself best in English, yet my parents do not speak the language.

On the trip to Osaka, Kyoto and Nara, I am uncomfortable being viewed as a Chinese national, partly because I do not want to be misrepresented, having to explain for the umpteenth time why I do not hold a Chinese passport, or why I am bilingual in English and Mandarin.

I am also reluctant to bear the brunt of overtourism fatigue faced by retail staff, nor do I want to give false hope about my purchasing power.