Caring for caregivers A lifeline when the going gets tough

Guidebook and retreats among the initiatives available to support caregivers

- Amrita Kaur

Ms Julia Chan had always envisioned a life where she could balance family and career.

But reality took a different turn when her elder son was diagnosed with autism at four, and her younger son began showing signs of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) at nine.

When her older son Jedi, now 12, was first diagnosed, Ms Chan's mind swirled with self-blame. She questioned everything from her pregnancy to potential external causes.

"Could I have done anything to prevent it or did I do something to cause his development to be this way?" she remembers asking.

She watched Jedi struggle to speak and respond, fearing he might never fully communicate or live independently.

"At that point in time, he was parroting. If you said something to him, he would repeat it back to you. But if you asked him, 'What do you want to eat?', he wouldn't answer because he didn't know how to pull that response from the back of his mind," says the 40-year-old, whose husband, 42, works as an executive in facilities management.

Their younger son, Javian, is now 10. They are waiting to hear from the Ministry of Education on a possible ADHD diagnosis for him.

Her experiences as a caregiver dealing with stress led her to write The Healing Journal: A Caregiver's Path To Self-Care, a 200-page book published by CaringSG.

The non-profit supports caregivers of persons with special needs, estimating that there are more than 350,000 informal or family caregivers in Singapore.

The book is one of several initiatives supporting caregivers and seeking to give them respite from their responsibilities.

Jedi was diagnosed with autism in 2016. Ms Chan, who was handling social media for a company, felt the cumulative weight of his medical appointments, therapies and caregiving.

Although her employer offered flexible hours, the anxiety of potentially losing her job pushed her to work tirelessly to prove her worth.