A thank-you letter to parents, from a parent

Parenting hones one's multitasking capability like nothing else

- Abel Ang

Dear parents, this letter, like a child, is years in the making. You are the reason your children are who they are today; nothing happens by chance. From the first rush of joy when a child is conceived, followed immediately by the twinge of regret at the thought of bringing life into a world beset with uncertainty and conflict.

Then comes unsolicited, often contradictory, advice from strangers, friends, family and well-wishers. Advice flies your way fast and furious as soon as word of the baby gets out. It starts with the best position to sleep to ensure good blood flow for the baby, to whether caffeine consumption by the mother is safe or unsafe, expanding into other realms like pre-natal yoga, singing to the foetus and everything in between.

The advice, though well-intended, just leaves us parents more confused and anxious.

There is no test that qualifies you as a parent, unlike driving. When it comes to driving, there are lessons to make sure that you are not a danger to others and yourself on the road. Why isn't there something similar for parenting? Yet, when the baby is born, automatically, your needs as an individual give way to the needs of your vulnerable and helpless new alien on earth.

Some say that it's hormones like oxytocin, secreted during childbirth, which stimulate feelings of attachment, nurturing and affection. Such are the mysteries of biology and the wonder of becoming a parent.

Now you are a parent, every unworthy, unprepared and overwhelmed bit of you. Those parenting classes sure sound good when you are trying to figure out why the baby doesn't stop crying, coughing or puking—sometimes all three at the same time.

In the midst of the chaos, the baby's gurgles and laughter feel like music to the ears, like a cool drink of water on a parched day. When the baby smiles, you feel like you have arrived at an oasis.