SHOULD I STOP LISTENING TO MY FAVORITE BAND ONCE THEY’RE ‘PROBLEMATIC’?

In the past few months, we have seen comebacks from well-loved artists in indie OPM, such as the iconic reunion of IV of Spades with Aura, and even Ourselves the Elves’ comeback gigs. These have definitely elicited the same schoolgirl gushing that bubbled within my younger self, who saved up every bit of my allowance just to attend gigs.

- By JONAH LLAVE

Art by JASMINE CABRILES

However, these trips down memory lane also remind us of artists who are no longer on the scene, for good reason — one of which is Ang Bandang Shirley, who made up a good chunk of my high school playlists and memories.

The band, along with Ourselves the Elves, Cheats, Coeli, B.P. Valenzuela, Shirebound and Busking, serve as a time capsule for simpler times, years before the pandemic and adulthood. They soundtracked countless nights of getting ready with my girls, singing, doing each other’s makeup, and drawing eyeliner that was way too long. They remind me of late nights, cramped inside Mow’s at Maginhawa with a beer in hand. Or even a birthday gift from my best friend that turned out to be a gig at Conspiracy along Visayas Avenue, where we stayed until the wee hours of the morning just to see Munimuni perform.

When I think of Ang Bandang Shirley, one of my favorite bands at the time, I remember being overjoyed at my 11th-grade school fair, where they performed. As clichéd as the story goes, I was nursing a heartbreak from someone whom I never truly dated but wasted my time on. Every time I hear Nakauwi Na, I am brought back to that moment, a slight sting and, honestly, a sh*t-ton of amusement at how much importance I had placed on such a trivial thing.

Now, more often than not, I wonder if revisiting my favorite Ang Bandang Shirley songs, such as Umaapaw, Nakauwi Na and Actually, is considered acceptable. How am I supposed to reconcile the gap between wanting to listen to this band and the unwavering belief that they should be held accountable for all their alleged abuses and transgressions?