Lavender Marriages, Anyone?

Under Article 1 of the Family Code, "Marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life." The definition is specific, and quite restrictive in the eyes of not a few people.

- RICARDO T. PAMINTUAN

Oddly, despite the Philippines being the only country outside Vatican City that doesn't allow divorce, couples still rush to get hitched, fully aware they're about to be literally bound to each other for life. Why? Because marriage, as a legally binding agreement, comes with perks such as inheritance rights, social security benefits, property ownership and, for some, a golden ticket to foreign immigration benefits.

But for many Filipinas, family and property laws, often skewed in favor of men, have long been a thorn in the side. And the dating pool? It's slim pickings, where most of the good ones are either "taken" or not interested. Faced with less-than-ideal prospects, some women joke about becoming mistresses, turning into lesbians or, in a plot twist worthy of a K-drama, marrying their best friend. Who just happens to be male. And gay.

The last choice presents a workable solution to the rigid requirement that marriage must be "between a man and a woman." Welcome to the colorful world of lavender marriages!

A lavender marriage is a union, typically between a gay man and a straight woman, often entered into for social acceptance, family expectations, or legal advantages. Some of these marriages are rooted in deep friendship and mutual respect; others are more strategic—carefully crafted shields against societal and religious pressures. In a country where marriage is seemingly forever, people get creative.

Hollywood's got its fair share of these unions. Judy Garland found her rainbow when she married director Vincente Minnelli, who was rumored to be gay. Their daughter Liza also married a man in the same mold. The Danish Girl, where art imitated the life of an artist and her transgender husband, got the judges' nod in 2015 and gave Alicia Vikander multiple awards for her portrayal of Gerda Wegener.