How will I cope with the holiday? By disregarding it

As a carer, the way to get through the festive season is to have a low bar, says Melanie Reid

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You don't have to enjoy Christmas, you really don't. Once you grasp that, it's liberating.

Behind the blitz of tat, food and the fiction of universally happy families, there are millions of us struggling to cope with ordinary life who want the whole damn circus to disappear.

The last thing we need is other people's expectation of jolly sleigh bells projected on to us. I used to be guilty of this. I remember the year my mother stashed her Christmas cards in a pile instead of displaying them. I discovered she hadn't sent any either, a strong ritual abandoned. She said she couldn't be bothered. At the time I felt dismayed. I simply didn't get it.

Now I completely understand. I can't be bothered either.

Obviously, very needy causes exist and this is their season to shine: the homeless, the poor, the domestically abused. Various crisis charities perform emotional blackmail on their behalf, for abandoned dogs and lame donkeys too, and plenty of good-hearted people donate to alleviate their guilt.