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Brown-throated sloth
The Observer
|February 08, 2026
The world is always in a hurry, and those that hurry look at me with pity.
Slow, they say. Primitive. Lazy. They fail to see that I'm an advanced being with a metabolism of miraculous economy that makes for a life of profound meditation.
Monday
Today I hung from a branch. Tomorrow I'll hang from a branch. Yesterday I hung from a branch. Dull? I'm here in the canopy looking at the sky, splinters of sunlight filtering through the leaves. I'm in heaven while everyone else is dashing past, oblivious.
Tuesday
Have you never considered the virtues of slowness? It makes you invisible. Ocelots and harpy eagles hunt by sight. They look for movement: but my subtle creep attracts no eyes. Speed? I can make 13ft a minute, nearer 15 when I'm in a hurry. Speed is for losers.
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