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'My mom was constantly destroying me, stitching me back'

The New Indian Express Kottayam

|

September 01, 2025

A ROCK star of a book. That's how acclaimed author Arundhati Roy describes her latest work, Mother Mary Comes to Me.

- Krishna P S & Manisha VCS @Kochi

The intimate memoir has a towering personality at its core: her late mother Mary Roy. In an exclusive interview to TNIE, Arundhati opens up about grieving, the "battle" that marked her relationship with "Mrs Roy" — whose "not-nice stuff" was, "in some ways what made her great" — and how the book is an "honest" attempt at writing about an "extraordinary person".

Excerpts

Was writing the memoir a way of coming to terms with your grief?

Not really. I think that kind of grief takes time, whether you write about it or not. I wrote the book because I feel that Mrs Roy deserves a space in literature, as all of herself, not just as some nice or great person. In some ways, what made her great was also the not-nice stuff.

'God of Small Things' was also very personal. Do you feel exposed when you write about your life?

I don't care. Because she didn't care. Sure, my brother and I absorbed a lot of her darkness. But she never could have done the things she did, or I could never have done the things I have done or written, if we were continuously polling public opinion.

There's a uniqueness to the relationship between a mother and daughter. There is warmth, there is pain, and everything in between. Many daughters grapple with it.

A lot of mothers, too. I feel this book is about a daughter who was actually the mother, a daughter who became an adult and dealt with her as an adult.

Sure, it was hard for me.

But it was hard for her, too.

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