'I touched my wife's knee felt it. But she wasn't there'

Heston Blumenthal talks to Chris Bennion about having hallucinations and suicidal thoughts, and finally finding happiness after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 57

- Chris Bennion

It's the middle of the afternoon in Provence, 35C and rising, and Heston Blumenthal is telling me why he finds The Bear's kitchen a little hot. "It's too manic for me," he says of FX's award-winning drama about a struggling Chicago restaurant.

"I've tried it twice. For some reason I just can't watch it." The reason, perhaps, is that The Bear's head chef Carmy Berzatto, and the world around him, is frantic, frenzied and absolutely no fun at all. Blumenthal's approach to cuisine has always been the polar opposite playful, joyful, down-the-rabbit-hole. Snail porridge and egg-and-bacon ice cream. Parsnips that taste like a bowl of Frosties. Edible playing cards. Fun.

If you saw Heston: My Life with Bipolar, shown on BBC Two on Thursday, you'll know that things have changed for the grand ringmaster of British cuisine. In November 2023, Blumenthal was forcibly sectioned following concerns from his wife, Melanie, that his manic behaviour was out of control and he was becoming a danger to himself. After being dragged away from his home by French police officers and firemen, Blumenthal woke up in a psychiatric hospital - "a really dodgy place" where, two days later, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The diagnosis, he says, saved his life.

Speaking two days before the documentary was broadcast, Blumenthal admits there are nerves about how it might be received. There were some who advised him not to do it, not to speak so publicly about his condition. "What am I nervous about? [The documentary] was quite raw, quite open.

There were moments when I thought, 'Oh shit, should I have said that?"" However, the 59-year-old's desire to help educate the nation on the disorder - more people suffer from it than dementia in the UK, while it is the only mental health condition where suicide is on the rise - trumped those concerns.