Into the death vortex Perpetual crisis at Reading shows why English game needs regulator with claws

And by our tennis balls shall you know us. And by our clown outfits and face paint shall you know us. And by our carefully worded media releases and painstaking analysis of tribunal documents shall you know us.

- Jonathan Liew

And by the gigantic billboard we hired outside the train station shall you know us. Anyway, what we're saying is: you know us. As for the next step... yeah, we're working on that part.

"Ripped apart while the world watches" reads the aforementioned billboard outside Reading station.

But is the world actually watching? Beyond the RG postcodes it was hard to identify too many concentric ripples from the news last week regarding another mysterious takeover bid for the club apparently falling through. It's hard to drum up much interest in A Thing Not Happening, particularly when the big beasts of the Premier League demand to be talked about at all times.

All the while The Dai Yongge Show continues: eight seasons and counting, though it's been almost a year since anyone heard from him in an official capacity, since when dozens more staff have left, the women's team dropped three divisions to Tier 5 and the club is being kept afloat largely through cost-cutting and the sell-on fee received for Michael Olise last summer.