US is calling my name

To whom it may concern: Perhaps not the best way to start an application letter for a post in the diplomatic corps, or anywhere in government for that matter.

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There's a good chance no-one in the civil service is concerned about anything other than getting out of the office by 3pm and not getting named by a whistleblower.

To be honest - and I think honesty is a positive attribute for a diplomat, even if it did backfire spectacularly when Ebrahim Rasool tried it - I'm not even sure who makes this kind of appointment.

I don't even know who the foreign minister is these days. Is it still Pik Botha? Probably not.

The ANC would never allow another Botha anywhere near the reigns of power. Mind you, there's a Steenhuisen and a Groenewald in the Cabinet, so I guess anything's possible.

I hope Clayson Monyela is the one who decides. I've liked Clayson ever since he was e.tv's Limpopo correspondent reporting on all manner of outlandish witchcraft stories.

Our approach to international relations was spawned during the first blush of democracy. I'd like to say it grew legs and emerged from apartheid's primordial ooze, but it never quite made it into a fully formed coherent policy.