Emergence of 'Homo relaxus'

I recently spent a weekend at a holiday resort, floating in a hot-water swimming pool like a lazy crouton in a human soup, and made a few discoveries about the species known as Homo relaxus.

- SONJA BROWN

It turns out, when you boil people gently in 24°C water, their true nature bubbles to the surface.

Humans lose all sense of personal space when submerged.

There I was, minding my own business in a tranquil corner, when a stranger decided to drift over and start a conversation about his cholesterol.

Every time I tried to paddle away, he floated closer like a friendly but determined manatee.

Within five minutes, I knew his medical history, his ex-wife's opinions on jacuzzi etiquette and the fact that he once met a cousin of someone who'd seen Johnny Clegg in real life.

There's always a “bubble button enthusiast.”