Rounding off our rough edges

An object with rough edges can be difficult to handle.

- B.K. SHEILU

The same is true of people. We sometimes hear it being said that someone needs to “round off their rough edges.” What is meant here is that the person concerned should soften the negative traits that make them hard to deal with. Rough edges may refer to sharp, unpleasant, or socially awkward qualities. It can mean that someone is too blunt or harsh when speaking; gets irritated easily; is impatient or rude; or acts overly aggressive or stubborn.

In an earlier era, there used to be finishing schools that aimed to “round off rough edges” by teaching their students etiquette, polished behaviour, and cultural refinement, so that the pupils could carry themselves confidently in formal and social settings.

But such rounding off is mostly superficial: it aims to change people's behaviour, not the way they think, their values, or their character. That is why people who act in a polished manner in society can be found behaving in an altogether different way in private. Their polish is an act put on to project an image, or preserve their reputation.