Even now, I struggle to put my feelings into words

After the Prince of Wales's poignant conversation with a mother whose husband took his own life following the shock death of their one-year-old son, Express Royal Editor Emily Ferguson courageously recalls her own mental health crisis

- By Emily Ferguson Royal Editor

LAST week I reported on the Prince of Wales's film discussing the impact of suicide, an eight-minute video that I haven't stopped thinking about since.

As with many of these types of releases, I got an advanced preview of the film the day before it aired, and two things have stayed with me.

Firstly, the unimaginable pain Rhian Mannings went through after losing her husband to suicide just five days after her one-year-old son died from a seizure.

And secondly, William's words “The best way to prevent suicide is to talk about it. Talk about it early, talk about it with your loved ones, those you trust, your friends” as that's something I've never had the courage to do. But watching that film, hearing the devastating effect it had on Rhian and her family, and lauding the future king for urging people to speak up, I've found a strength I didn't know I had.

Over the years, I've been quite honest and upfront about my mental health issues, having had depression and anxiety since my late teens. And while I'm not afraid to talk about it, most people have no idea that underneath the bubbly young woman, there's a darkness that threatens to take over at any point.

But there's one period I haven't ever discussed, even with my closest friends and family. It's been buried like it never happened but it did, and last week's film has empowered me to speak about my experience for the first time.

On April 23, 2016, I could no longer cope with the sadness that engulfed every fibre of my being. The darkness had become me and I just wanted it to stop. I couldn't see a way out, a way forward. I had no hope left, and I didn't have the strength to keep fighting it.